Cruising and Cussing in California
by Shadowgate
Summary: This is an AGU/SP crossover. It's rated M for content.
1. Chapter 1

Cruising and Cussing in California

By Shadowgate

….

Counselor Mackey entered Mister Garrison's classroom to discuss the "city/country project."

"Okay class I need your full attention umkay. The western states have implemented the city/country project. This project is a student exchange program. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric I have talked to all your parents and you'll be going to California. Normally it's a volunteer program but the four of you are not involved in any extra curricular activities."

Stan stood up and said "oh great you volunteered us just like last year when you volunteered us to go to that rainforest in South America."

Kyle replied "Stan has already jacked off enough in California."

Stan turned to Kyle and yelled "SHUT UP KYLE OR I'LL BUST YOUR SKULL!"

Counselor Mackey responded "now look you all are going to behave and stop threatening to kill each other. That jack off joke was not appropriate in the classroom. Furthermore if you four think you're getting out of going to California it will be over my dead body."

Kyle said "speaking of dead bodies have you read that there's a lethal drug shortage so they have had problems arranging lethal injections for convicted murderers?"

Cartman said "why don't they just bring back the electric chair?"

Mister Mackey said "boys" but was ignored and Kyle said "well if you were sentenced to death for murder Cartman you'd break the electric chair because you're so fat."

Cartman said "well then how about the gas chamber Kyle? It sure worked when it came time to get rid of all those pesky Jews back in Germany."

Kyle punched Cartman and then Kenny said "last night my dad got really drunk and he said that he thinks I'll be on death row someday. Then he threw up."

The whole class laughed and Mister Mackey pounded Mister Garrison's desk and said "GET QUIET AND PAY ATTENTION!"

They all get quiet and Counselor Mackey turns his back to write on the chalk board.

Cartman says "shh I'm going to sneak out."

Cartman quietly snuck out the door.

Counselor Mackey turns around and says "the reason we have the city/country project is because we want city kids and kids who live in country mountain towns like South Park to get to know each other. Hey wait, where is Eric Cartman?"

Kyle answered "he's gone."

Mister Garrison said "oh I was watching you write on the board Mister Mackey so I didn't see him sneak out. Well wherever he is I'll give him detention for sneaking out of class."

All of the sudden the intercom speaker comes on.

"Attention Mister Mackey I know you sit down when you go to the bathroom because you're nothing but a sissy faggot. I'll bet you love to suck big dicks at gay bars."

Every classroom was full of laughter.

Counselor Mackey was pissed and the next day Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman had to get on a school bus and go to California."

They stopped in Nevada at 8:30 PM and checked into the motel which was funded by the school.

Stan and Kenny spent the night in one room.

Kyle and Cartman spent the night in a different room.

The next day Mister Mackey returned to Mister Garrison's class to talk more about the city/country project. He asked if anyone else wanted to volunteer. Nobody wanted to volunteer.

All of the sudden the intercom speaker is heard and then Mister Garrison spoke "oh Mister Mackey you know I'm queer and I'd love to lick your ass all night long. Oh Mister Mackey when I think of you I just want to cum in my fucking pants."

Mister Mackey was still in Mister Garrison's class and did not notice that Mister Garrison had snuck out.

Mister Mackey got very pissed off and threw Mister Garrison's chair out the window.

Every student in South Park Elementary School laughed so hard.

"GODDAMN IT!" exclaimed Mister Mackey

Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman arrive at a large school. When they enter at 3PM they see a group of kids standing outside the school.

Phil Deville said "hey it's the state exchange kids."

Chucky says "I wonder if they'll think I'm a nerd or a trouble maker."

Phil stated "not off the bat but in a few days they'll know you're an accident prone hazard on two legs."

Chucky turned his head and said sarcastically "thanks Phil."

Stan saw a boy with spiked purple hair holding a sign that said "WELCOME SOUTH PARK STUDENTS"

After the four South Park students introduced themselves Tommy and his friends all introduced themselves.

Lil asked "hey where's Angelica?"

Kimmy answered "good question."

Angelica came around the corner and said "I'm right here Goddamn it!"

She then walked up beside Kimmy and said "so these are the hick dweebs."

Chucky said "you call everyone a dweeb even if you don't even know them."

Tommy turned to Angelica and asked "do you think you could be nice to them? I know for you being nice is harder than Algebra."

Dil says "I think I can get along with them. Especially if they're into inventing new things as well as aliens then that will be delightful."

Kyle said "Cartman was abducted by aliens and they sodomized him."

Cartman yelled "GOODAMN IT YOU FUCKING JEW BASTARD!"

Tommy said "oh my we have an anti-Semite among us."

Dil asked "if you're a Nazi where are your swastika tattoos?"

Stan said "maybe the aliens should have given him a swastika tattoo."

Angelica said "well it sure sucks to be you fat boy."

Cartman yelled "kiss my ass Princess Angelica."

Angelica yelled "I'M A PRINCESS AND YOU'RE A FAT LOSER!"

Angelica then grabbed Cartman's book bag and pulled a binder out of it.

Cartman said "give that back you bitch."

Angelica said "oh you're going to be a little bitch right now."

Angelica yanked Cartman's pants down as Cartman struggled to fight back but he was overpowered and then Angelica shoved the binder up his ass.

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny laughed their asses off. Angelica's classmates and her two cousins were in shock.

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2

Cruising and Cussing in California

Chapter 2

By Shadowgate

…

Stan said "shit Cartman, Angelica is taller than my girlfriend Wendy and Wendy whooped your ass big time."

Kyle commented "looks like you'll be Angelica's bitch through the whole trip and I look forward to that."

Cartman shouted "FUCK YOU KYLE."

Dil chimed in and said "man the language these visitors use, oh we'd be grounded for life."

Tommy replied to Dil "no fucking shit we'd be fucking grounded for life."

Lil said to Angelica "I can't believe you just did that."

Phil replied "I hope you never abuse Tommy and Dil that way."

Tommy and Dil both gulp at the same time.

Kyle had to say "Angelica sure is quite scary when she's pissed off. But I'll tell you one thing. My mom is scarier."

Dil asked if she was scarier than aliens giving someone an anal probe and if so he said he didn't want to meet her.

Kyle answered "Cartman thinks so."

Everybody laughed and Cartman yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Lil commented "you all love cussing."

Phil laughed and asked if they loved farting.

Stan answered "fat boy does it all the time."

Kyle cuts one and Kenny asked "Kyle did you just shit your pants?"

Kyle answered "no but Cartman did when we went zip lining."

Lil asked "did he seriously shit his pants?"

Cartman yelled "NO!"

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny yelled "YES!"

Cartman groaned.

All of a sudden a school hall monitor came around and said "Lil I'm giving you a referral to the principal for cussing. How on earth could you even consider cussing on school property and in front of the exchange students?"

Lil answered "everyone else cussed."

The hall monitor said "well I didn't hear them."

Lil said "it's after school anyhow."

The hall monitor said she didn't care if it was after school and told Lil she'd be getting a referral to the principal.

Lil got pissed off and groaned and walked off.

Lil arrived home 30 minutes after Phil.

Phil said to Lil when she got home "oh Lil you ran off before the four visitors shared a hilarious story about how they got sent to the principal's office for cussing out loud in class. They said words like "cockmaster" and "eat penguin shit."

Betty Deville and her husband Howard entered the living room and they both made it clear they were not happy about the cussing that took place on school property.

Phil told them "hey look out the window and you'll see Angelica has the fat visitor on a dog leash and I think that's a lot worse than cussing on school property."

Betty was shocked at what she saw and Howard fainted.

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Chapter 3

Cruising and Cussing in California

Chapter 3

By Shadowgate

Angelica's mom Charlotte rushed out to stop the ongoing madness.

"ANGELICA!" she shouted.

Didi Pickles rushed out to assist Charlotte. Cartman said he was one of the city/country exchange students.

Angelica said "he was rude to me so I shoved his binder up his ass and I used this dog leash I found in the school's lost and found to tame him."

Charlotte ordered Angelica to take the dog leash off immediately and said "furthermore you're grounded for a month. What you did to this boy was criminal."

Cartman made his way back to the motel.

Upon his arrival at the motel he commented to the guys "now I know what Butters goes through every night."

Stan shot back "dude that's not cool you shouldn't make fun of Butters like that."

Kyle chimed in "yeah fat boy."

Kenny commented "Cartman will grow up to be a man whore bitch slave."

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny all burst into laughter.

Tommy and Dil met up with Phil and Lil. Chucky and Kimmi got cell phone calls as did Suzie and they met up with the two groups of siblings.

Tommy posed the question "what do you think of the new kids from South Park Colorado?"

Dil answered "they're not the rednecks I thought they'd be."

Suzie answered "I've yet to meet them."

Chucky answered "they're not as scary as I thought they'd be."

Kimmi answered "I'm sure they enjoy video games, music, and making fun of my brother Chucky as much as anyone."

Chucky yelled "HEY" and Phil said "hey Chucky you and Kenny have something in common. Kenny told me he's an accident magnet though I've yet to see proof. But hey if he's telling the truth you both should hit it off."

Everybody but Chucky laughed.

Phil went on to say "I think these new kids are fucking hilarious."

Lil replied to Phil "well I'm not happy that I got singled out for cussing and they got away with a ton more."

Phil turned to look at Lil and he said "if not for that crazy shit Angelica pulled mom and dad would still be yelling at you."

Lil's cell phone rang.

Lil said out loud "it's mom."

Lil answered her cell phone "hello mom" and Betty said "Lil we need to talk and I need you home now."

Lil said "alright" and hung up her phone.

Phil asked "what is it?"

Lil said "I just might be getting my ass grounded because of that motherfucking school hall monitor."

Tommy says "before you go Lil I just want to say I think these exchange students are fucking awesome. It's hilarious that they said "eat penguin shit" in their classroom."

Everybody laughed but Suzie flipped out and said "oh you've got to be kidding."

Back at the motel Kyle's cell phone rang.

Kyle said "hello Butters."

Butters informed Kyle that Mister Mackey tried to push the city/country exchange program but nobody voluntarily signed up for it. Kyle was not at all surprised about that. Butters went on to say that Mister Garrison had to submit to detention as if he was a student in order to keep his job as a teacher. Kyle asked "what the fuck are you talking about? Why would Mister Garrison have to do that?"

Butters answered "Mister Garrison got on the intercom at school and made sexual remarks to Mister Mackey."

Kyle said "no fucking way."

Butters shot back "well if you don't believe me just think of one simple fact. It's Mister Garrison I'm talking about."

Kyle replied "oh well that does make it more believable."

After Kyle got off the phone with Butters he said "you guys are never going to believe this."

Back at Lil's house Lil had just walked through the door and said "well dad fainted really hard like he always does."

Betty said "we need to talk about this recent run-in with the hall monitor."

Lil said "damn it!"

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. Chapter 4

Cruising and Cussing in California

Chapter 4

By Shadowgate

….

The week winded down. The kids from South Park said they were overall very happy to have visited even though they had no choice.

Stan commented "I think you all are okay. My past two trips to California sucked but you guys are okay. Even Chucky whom we all consider weird was cool to hang out with."

Kyle commented "I've learned something today. I've learned that even if you're forced to take a trip well it doesn't have to be bad. Like Stan said you all are okay."

Kenny commented "I have enjoyed life here. Back home my parents are drunks so this was a vacation even though we had to attend classes with you."

Cartman commented "well I didn't like Angelica but the rest of you are cool."

All of a sudden a car radio begins playing "Trapped" by Bruce Springsteen.

The kids from South Park agreed they could relate to that song.

Tommy and Dil go over to Stan.

Tommy said "Stan you are a true leader. I'm considered a leader amongst my group of friends here. No doubt you'll live long as an admired peer group leader."

Dil added "plus you're popular because your mom has a great rack."

Tommy snapped at Dil and Dil said "well Kenny told me that was the case."

Kyle yelled "HEY GUYS!"

When they ran over to Kyle to see what was going on Kyle showed them a video on a cell phone.

It showed Mister Garrison sitting in detention.

Mister Mackey was chewing him out.

"Now I'm very disappointed in you. School is a time for learning and not a time for tom foolery. You are a teacher and you should set the example. You should not be on the intercom talking about my butt cheeks um kay."

All the kids started laughing.

Tommy said "hey you weren't kidding when you said crazy stuff happens at your school."

All the kids laugh happily ever after.

THE END


End file.
